Dear Serolynne:
In the last 2 months I’ve met and hit it off with a really incredible guy who knows both me and my partner already, and understands and sees himself fitting into both our lives and is comfortable with that. Everyone is happy and excited about the situation.
What I’m now struggling with is the safe sex conversation that I have toave with my new partner. Condom usage for intercourse is a given, but mypartner of 4 years and I are both feeling we should set a new standard for safer sex and get all parties tested if there is a possibility for a longterm relationship. I know it needs to be done, but I don’t know how topropose STD testing before we engage any further. Any stories of the waysothers have dealt with this situation would be appreciated, as would anyadvice.
Thank you,
Excited and Trying to be Responsible
Dear Excited:
Congratulations on the new partner, and for wanting to be responsible for your health.
I typically e-mail them my most current sexual health and history spreadsheet (click for a blank copy)and ask for theirs in return. Has worked like a charm every time - tells them right up how seriously I take the subject, and creates a clear opening for having the discussion and dealing with the topic in a straightforward way.
Another fun way I have heard of people handling this is making a date to go get tested together.
I figure.. if I can’t talk to someone about sex and sexual health with them, why would I want to have sex with them anyway?
Best wishes,
- Serolynne