Dear Serolynne:
My husband and I recently got married although we’ve been together for almost 10 yrs. A little bit before we got married I started falling for a close female mutual friend of ours. Since we’ve been married my husband has now fallen for her and things have gotten heavy quickly. Recently I’ve been experiencing feelings of jealousy towards both of them and I feel bad because they’ve noticed and are now becoming uncomfortable with each other. Any suggestions on how to remedy the situation?
Thanks,
Jealous Partner
Dear Jealous Partner:
From the sounds of it, it doesn’t seem like the three of you are talking about things as openly and honestly as you could be. My best suggestion would be for you to first of all have a conversation with your husband about his impressions of this new relationship and where he sees it going. I would then further encourage all three of you to sit down and talk very directly about the relationships and any feelings that are cropping up.
Aside from jealousy cropping up from internal insecurities, it can also come as a result of a fear of the unknown. I suspect in your case that you’re not getting enough information about what is going on from them, and they’re not hearing your concerns. I would imagine that opening up the dialouge will go a long way to helping everyone feel more comfortable from better understanding of where your boundaries and trigger points are.
Best wishes,
- Serolynne
